It's been far, far too long since I posted something here, and I know of a certain someone who may be interested in hearing news from this ol' dog...
The last six months have been pretty crazy. After getting over the whole "losing the baby and losing my lover" thing last year, I branced out on a search for someone... something that would put me to ease. Anyone or anything that would appease my need.
After a dating a couple of girls, a "hanging out with a friend turned clingy girl" and a "love interest from the past turned crazy chick" I decided to forego endulging in my favorite pasttime and start to focus on myself... To develop personal growth within and to recenter myself... I had truly gotten too far away from who I was.
Well, enter Morgan... Now, Morgan at first glance looks like a fun, beautiful girl who has lots of brains and is gentle... In truth, she is all of those things. :D Anyways, as we began to speak some really strange things began to occur. We started talking about ourselves and our lives, our likes and our dislikes and a variety of other things that newly formed "couples" speak about. The strange thing is that the majority of what we experienced in life was similar (eerily so) and our opinions, likes and dislikes were also eerily similar... I would be thinking about something and she would ask me about it... I would ask her a question and she'd be looking at something that pertained to the question I was asking her. We would wake within minutes of each other... say the same things (specific words) at the same time with the same inflection... Soon the game became more of "finding what was different" than the normal couple's "finding common ground." All of the things that tend to shred a relationship are non-issue... Why? Because we agree on them. She would share a personal hope/dream that she always had and it would be so in line with mine that I'd tease her about having an implant in my brain.
Now, most of the time I would default all of these to coincidence... that is if it didn't happen so damned often (10-15 times a day at least). Neither of us likes to talk on the phone, but we'll spend hours talking on the phone to each other... Not realizing the time has passed until I happen to glance at the time (she never looks at the time... how sweet of her).
Anyways, this has been an amazing adventure over the last 5 weeks. So much so that we have spoken of writing a blog to document everything and tell our story as it unfolds...
Love those around you for who they are today, not who they were yesterday or who they could be tomorrow but for who they are right now... the moment you hold them in your arms... If the world could do this, there would be a hell of a lot less hate.
Take care and spread the love,
B
5 comments:
how very awesome b!!! i'm glad you returned to the world of blogging, especially for my sake, and found joy in life again. focusing on self (in the form of discovery or improvement) is never wasted and in turn results in attracting a partner who better fits your life. i am revelling in your excitement about morgan and i love the idea of you two writing a joint blog. that could be pretty interesting to start, and pretty tricky later if and when challenges occur in your relationship. what a way to celebrate your time together. it sounds like you are on a delicious adventure. congrats and i hope you keep writing about my favorite subject ever...love!
It has been, and continues to be, very awesome indeed. I honestly felt that the day I lost my potential child and the woman who would bare them was a pit of despair that I needed to climb out of. It took me a few months to even muster up the self worth to fathom looking for another mate, and the women I met along the way were both wonderful and not the right match at the same time.
Morgan asks me time and again where I have been as I am who she's looked for for so long... My response is always the same, "I've been here... Waiting and becoming ready for someone who fits me so well that I can be loved in the same manner that I love those around me: truly unconditionally. We talk of life and plans and objectives, of lust and happiness and love, of peace and comfort and a life together that will only create a stronger bond than that we already share.
I have thought in the past that I've felt happiness and contentment, but it wasn't until she found me, almost randomly, that I realized that the feelings I'd experienced were pale in comparison to that which I can be capable of.
I have yet to tell her how I deeply I love her, as I want to save that for when I see her in a few weeks (I suffer a similar fate as you as she is many miles away), but she knows and I know she feels the same. She worried about the intensity of our connection and that we may go down in a blazing inferno, but I told her that my love was more like a smoldering ember that was intensely hot but lasted forever... That I would rather risk burning together than to risk never feeling the completeness that I do right now...
Now is the waiting game for her to be by my side... Temporarily at first and then for good. Our journey will be a fantastic one and one that will be a joy to share, good times and bad. We have already established a path of communication toward recovery for the rough times that may occur, and are planning for the joys we will certainly have.
Whoops. :) it send typing a novel on my phone resulted in a couple of typographical errors, but it's fine... I'll leave them in as a reminder that I'm imperfectly human. :)
with a love like this, do you feel like i do, that you just want to jump in with both feet? somehow you just know it will work, that it's meant to be? what IS that feeling?! do you believe in soulmates?
I'll address it in a new post, since I'm bound to be very wordy. :)
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